Sunday, January 20, 2002

Zenpriest #20 - There Is Nothing More Lonely Than Being With Someone You Cannot Talk To

QUOTE: When you go home and shut that door your spouse will be there for you. I am not telling this for the victim spin, just driving home the point that you can rely on your spouse in a different way than friends.

Yeah, right. And I have a great bridge for sale.

While that is the ideal of marriage - the "for richer or poorer, better or worse, sickness or health" thing - fewer things could be farther from today's reality.

Being one of the original marriage strikers gives me a strange perspective. If I had actually ever met a woman who I had believed would "be there for me", and who I "could rely on", as a spouse, I would be either married or divorced today, instead of congenitally single.

Keep in mind the statistics, and the fact that they represent real people. Somewhere around 80% of all divorces are initiated by the woman. I had friends who were shacking up freshman year of college whose parents forced them to get married, who were divorced before we graduated. Since I was in my early 20s, I have been fishing in a pond in which the concentration of divorced women has been growing until by now it is distilled to about 190 proof.

And, having dated dozens of divorced women, I can tell you that the reasons they give for the divorce virtually always boil down to one thing - "he wasn't paying me enough attention."

As Wanker just said -

"There is nothing more lonely than being with someone you cannot talk to."

Around here there is a joke about why men barbecue - it gives them a chance to retreat to the farthest corner of the yard to get away from the perpetual bitching.

Loneliness? Depends on how much you accept and like yourself versus how much validation you need to get from other people. Being an introvert, people do not energize me, they drain me. And, nothing in the world drains me like listening to a woman's incessant whining, complaining, and nagging.

I don't ever get lonely, but I often do feel the urge to resort to a baseball bat to get someone else who is lonely and who is using me to dump her emotional shit onto - to shut the fuck up.


Further reading:

Zenpriest #12 - Happiness


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