Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Bonecrker #27 - Women Want Sex More Than Men

Women want sex much more than men, not that they succeed at getting sex or having a good sexual relationship much more than men. You guys are forgetting that women are freakin’ nuts. And that insanity puts serious neurotic restrictions on her sexual expression.

An example. I had a woman friend that became more and more insane as she got older, eventually resulting in my expelling her from my life. Before that, I noticed that about once a month, she would pick up a couple of random guys at a bar (strong hormonal component). She was quite fond of telling me all about these wild sexual escapades. But I also knew her through several "relationships". They all followed the same pattern. The more intimate and close she became with a man (especially if he moved in with her), the more she lost sexual interest... to the point of becoming frigid. But she would still go out and pick up random guys on the sly. At one point I told her how I would never put up with that from a woman. To which she quipped, "Well, what the hell would you do about it?" Without skipping a beat I said I'd dump her skank ass.
My point here is the sex drive in this person was so strong that she really wasn't in control of it and her neuroses and being a miserable a-hole in general prevented her from channelling that into something positive (it actually got more and more negative as she got older). A lot of guys I know have run into this problem. She's a fiend in the sack until they get to know each other. Suddenly, she is frigid. But all these sexual skeletons keep falling out of her closet.

The high desire for sex is something I've observed over and over again with women. There are two things going on here. The first is that women are going out of their way to paint the picture that men want sex while women need to be convinced grudgingly give in to sex (plus baby, if not with me, you ain't gettin' anywhere else, because most women don't want it either). These are lies, specifically designed to inappropriately get the upper hand in relationships. The other thing going on is women are sick. They want sex lots more than men but are sexually dysfunctional. They have bizarre things like intense anxiety if they feel sexual attraction for the wrong (wrong being some weird random thing) man. They get angry if the "wrong" man approaches them because they feel guilty about that attraction and even more guilty about randomly fucking one of them on a regular basis (a situation they have little to no control over). Some are so anxiety ridden that they rarely have a man in their life and when they do, the conflicts and weirdness quickly drive him away.

This is why you have fundamentalist Christian babes who think sex out of marriage is amoral, but who regularly have some random guy strap them to an A-frame and whip the fuck out of them. A lot of similar stuff is going on in our society.

But none of this really matters. What matters is that no matter what women want you to think, there are a great many women around you who are all hot and horny for you. They hide it. It requires the ability to recognize and elicit subtle signals to tell who they are. It requires timing and the ability to known when and exactly how to strike when the iron is hot. There is never a reason to think that a woman is doing you a favour by having sex with you (requiring you return the favour in a manner other than sexual) or to think you can't walk away from a bad situation and within a reasonable period of time, get another one. If a woman is having sex with you, she is doing it because she likes sex, specifically with you. Don't be fooled and don't tolerate her neuroses. If she starts to lose interest, dump her. That lack of interest has nothing to do with lack of interest in sex. It has to do with bad behavior and lack of respect for you. It magically disappears 10 seconds after you are gone. This is VERY important to understand about women. Frigidity has NOTHING to do with lack of sexual interest. It has to do with lack of respect (you will see plenty of this in all other aspects of your relationship). Don't put up with that crap.

Plenty of fish in the sea.