Bonecrcker #177 - Responsibility And Power Go Hand In Hand

Responsibility and power go hand in hand. Any time you become a source of solutions to people’s problems or become vital to meeting their needs, you become important to them. Often they don’t notice until there is a disagreement and your voice carries more weight than theirs because they need you more than you need them.

In the last couple of generations, most women have simply lost interest in those behaviours that meet the needs of those around them and instead, focus on behaviours that are mostly useless. For example, many women ignore the behaviours that go with marriage and family (although near 100% of women will get married and/or have a family) to spend their time and effort on a career. But they never bother to ask themselves if their “career” is important. In other words, is the work they are doing meeting the vital needs of other people. Mostly, the answer is no, and they simply can’t understand why this situation doesn’t meet their desire for importance, wealth, status and power. Worse, the lack of behaviours in the family situation completely disempowers them from being able to choose what happens with that situation. The kids become fucked up. The marriage deteriorates. It isn’t important to her and she isn’t important to it. The whole thing….job, husband, family, becomes a dissatisfying mess. The average woman (ie more women then not) simply wander off, and then the real problems start. This is a grim situation for all involved but worst of all for the woman. An older, divorced woman, tied down with kids, in a nowhere dead-end job is best described as marginalized….with no options for the future and no self-esteem. Most women are headed there and FAST. And they don’t even know it.

Any person can avoid that fate by doing the opposite. Decide what you want out of life, make goals, AND WRITE THEM DOWN, keep track of daily behaviours you take to make those goals manifest. Move your focus away from appearances and ego, and useless, time wasting behaviours and focus on specific problem solving and being of service to society. Don’t get a job unless you desperately need the money, have a legitimate career or (best of all) own a business. Whatever you do, make sure the work you are doing is important. If it is mostly busy work, make changes immediately (let the 99% of people who are directionless schlubs, do the busy work).

But, most important of all, decide early and for certain if you want marriage and a family (if you are a hardcore career girl that is actually going places instead of just fooling herself, you have a difficult choice to make) and how that will fit into your life. Ignore appearances, fantasies and bullshit and choose a man based on substance and character, whose goals match your own. Who is an asset (your spouse is usually your first, most important and most valuable asset…..or your worst, most horrible liability) Figure it out early in life (unfortunately for women, the later in life you figure it out, the worse off you will be) and go after it with iron willed determination. Then, focus the lion’s share of your effort, time and attention on your marriage and family. You MUST make your marriage permanent, loving, fulfilling and sane. You MUST socialize your children. Not doing so makes you worthless.

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Related:

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Bonecrcker #54 – Women Should Cultivate Anything That Typically Is A Virtue… (advice to women)

Bonecrcker #151 – The Woman Who Is The Exception Phenomena (advice to women)

Bonecrcker #153 – People Can Choose Anything They Want To… But They Can’t Choose The Consequences

Bonecrkcer #154 – Women Are Bitches To Nice Girls (advice to women)

Bonecrcker #167 – Advice For Women On Inviting Men To Approach You (advice to women)

Bonecrcker #174 – The Measure Of A Person’s Worth Is Their Actions (advice to women)

Bonecrcker #176 – Women Making More Money Than Their Husbands (advice to women)

Philalethes #25 – You Can Have As Much Freedom As You Are Willing To Be Responsible For, But No More