Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Bonecrcker #155 - Types of Bad Advice

There is a big problem with well meaning but ignorant people, and some not so well-meaning types with a woman-only agenda spreading bad advice about how to handle the problem. They fall into three general categories:

1. Do more – The problem is that you aren’t doing enough for your woman, working hard enough at the relationship, aren’t good enough somehow or have to change in some other way.

2. Expect less – The problem is what you want from women is unreasonable and no person could meet up to your standard.

3. That’s just the way things are – Usually some dreck that attempts to explain what women are doing as a function of some leftover instincts from our evolution. Since it’s hardwired, you can’t do anything about it and just have to accept your lot in life.

There is one thing all of these theories have in common…..they don’t work. Strategies based on them have absolutely no effect whatsoever on the situation. I would say they were untrue (mostly because bad people are intentionally lying to cause you some harm) but there is little point in that because there is no way to prove or disprove them. Instead, I have different criteria to judge them by. Does the theory suggest behaviours that make things better? The answers for these three categories is a very strong no.

So what does? Pretty much assuming the opposite. You should do less, demand more, and assume that you can (and should) choose your behaviours with some goal in mind. Instead of worrying about if you have enough money or some other nebulous criteria by which you are judged, you should instead be judging women as to if they are good enough to spend any of your valuable time on.

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